February 27, 2020

The Issue Of Having Only Female Children In Nigerian Marriages

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This topic is a very sensitive one to most, if not all Africans.
In Africa, the first reason why people marry is because of children. In most cases, the lack of children or having just female children can cause serious problems in many families. I mean very serious problems.

To the average man or woman, children define manhood and womanhood. And should that couple have male children, there seems to be a great sense of marital fulfillment than if they just had female children.
Fine, having both genders among your children would be really great. However, if that doesn’t happen, heaven shouldn’t fall over your roof. Children are children no matter their genders, or what would you say of families yet to have one?
Few years back, I witnessed a drama as one woman who gave birth to a third female child cried in regret in the maternity hospital, when asked why she cried, she said that her husband was going to kill her because she gave birth to another female child. In spite of all efforts to calm her, she was unconsolable.

Dear spouses, children are very important in a marriage. However, according to God’s purpose for instituting marriage, children was not his primary reason. (Genesis 2:18) We are told in clear terms that marriage was first and foremost established to solve the loneliness of man. Man needed companionship or friendship more than children. He needed a mate in an intimate marital bond to relate with, just as the animals that he had named had, not children (see Genesis 2:15-17).

Honestly, in marriage the wife is more important than the children. Children are the EXTRAS and, as we all know the extra shouldn’t be more important than the MAIN. In marriage, the wife is the MAIN. A marriage where issues bordering on children affect the peace and harmony of that home is a clear evidence that the proper understanding of marriage didn’t dawn on that husband.

Culturally, the male children are rated higher than their female counterparts here in Africa. In most parts of Africa they even inherit property and fortune whereas their female counterparts are given little or nothing at all. But that’s not really my concern, my concern is that the harmony in a marriage shouldn’t be disrupted because a couple has female children only.

In many families, female children are not truly taken care of like the male ones. Some are denied education. Others are given out in marriage so early as either fringe personalities or money-making businesses. Bikozie nu, that shouldn’t be. Female children are as important as their male counterparts. They have a glorious destiny. They also have God’s plans and purpose upon their lives to fulfill (see Genesis 1:27-28).

Dear friends, gone are those days when female children were unimportant in families. These days, many ladies are achieving great feats. Most of them are Employers of labour, Heads of industries, Global managers, Senators, Ministers, etc.
So relegating a female child now is relegating destiny.
In conclusion, dear husbands this is for you: please don’t allow the harmony and peace in your home be turned into sorrow because you have female children only. Don’t maltreat your wife or allow your family to maltreat her because she gave birth to female children only. Don’t cheat on your wife because she has female children for you. Don’t divorce or bring in another woman because you have female children only. Love your female children. Most importantly love your wife because she is the main reason why God instituted marriage (See Genesis 2:18). Thanks for reading ooo.

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